I’m following her.
I know I shouldn’t.
It’s ridiculous, really.
But there’s something about her that causes me to hasten my step.
Her athletic pace has me wishing I didn’t give up easily on my annual get-fit resolution. How does she move so fast in those red heels? My own nearly identical pair, bought at twenty-one to impress a man twice my age, were long since donated to charity. Boring flats for me.
The wind lifts my long hair, then drops it in my face. I spit strands from my mouth, attempting to tame it, thinking of the hour wasted with the flatiron this morning. She doesn’t have these trivial problems with her pixie cut. If I had a dollar for every time I walked into a salon armed with a plethora of short hair photos only to chicken out just as the stylist affixes the cape to my neck…I pinch my arm. Hard. The pain stops the train wreck called self-depreciation.
We veer right, past a flower shop, and I eye myself in the windows of the drugstore as I zip by. I'm sweating. Her path zigzags through downtown, and as we near the bagel shop, my brain fights my stomach. You’re not hungry, you gluttonous scoundrel. But the aroma of fresh baked bread washes over me and I don’t know how I will resist temptation.
To my delight, the woman enters the bakery. Now I’ll have my look at her. A proper glance to snuff my curiosity. She’s at the counter ordering and I notice her nail polish is the same dark blue as mine. Where hers is perfectly coated, I chipped mine. She orders two blueberry bagels. My favorite. Payment made, she turns, and extends one to me.
I’m aghast at the sight.
Short, pudgy nose. Birthmark on her left cheek. The way she turns her head slightly to the left as she says “for you” sends chills down my spine. I do it too. A habit to compensate for hearing loss.
She’s me.
Every inch of me. But, somehow, not.
No. She’s everything I wish I was.
I accept the offering. For the first time in my life, I contemplate my words before speaking. “How is this possible?”
She smiles. I’ve seen that grin in the mirror a thousand times. “You have the power to make your dreams reality.” She gives a little wave as she exits the shop. “See you around.”